This Is Home

Living a good 15 hour drive from home, I only get to go back maybe once per semester, if that. By the time I get home, the first few days back almost seem like a wonderful dream. A little over a week ago I got to go home for just a few days. It was short, but oh so sweet. On Saturday my entire family (minus only a few) went out to a salt marsh preserve to celebrate my twentieth birthday. What nostalgia thinking about it. It was a beautiful day of distant dark clouds, wind, towers, and bike rides. It really was so perfect. My family is one of my most precious gifts here on this earth. And I couldn't think of a better way to spend a late birthday celebration than tromping around a salt marsh with all of them.

"Repent then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord, and that he may send the Christ, who has been appointed for you- even Jesus."

Acts 3:19-20

On turning twenty.

Nostalgia talks to me.
Do you see your childhood slipping away?
He taunts.
Remember swings?
You're too big now.

I talk back to him.
Do you see how you're torturing me?
I know these.
I remember swings
And love them.

Nostalgia swings with me.
And with each sway he whispers,
Another year,
another day
you will not have again.

I cry as I swing.
Tell me, Nostalgia, what do I do?
I've loved these years.
If I let myself turn another,
I will not have the last.

Stay, he says.
Do not let them go.

But I can't.
I'm too big for the swing
and my hands hurt
from gripping the chains
so tightly.

I let go.

I've been having some serious nostalgia/ homesickness/ sentimentality lately. Today is officially my twentieth birthday, which just seems so strange for some reason. I've been thinking a lot about growing up with my family and how so many things have changed over the years. When I was little, it was all about me and my 7 other siblings running around, playing, and going to school. Now I can look at my 12 nieces and nephews and reminisce about what it was like. As much as some of my feelings are telling me that getting older is something to avoid, I want to embrace it with all that I have. I have been given beautiful life. Each day is a gift that I do not deserve.

The friends I've been abundantly blessed with. My ever-growing family that loves me so. A school that feeds me truth every single day. A room of my very own to sleep in every night. Cameras, paint brushes, pencils, and fabric to create whatever my heart desires. Cold weather for my birthday weekend. A child running to give me a big hug. People that tell me they love me.

There is no way that I have done anything to deserve the least of these. Yet they have been given to me so graciously. And even still, these do not compare to the most beautiful gift I've been given. Without it, all of these would mean nothing.

I proclaim with all that I have that the redemption given me through Jesus Christ, Son of God, is the only reason I live. And for him, I will give 20 years of my life without hesitation. And for him, I will be glad and rejoice to live more.

Kites for Kate

We all love Kate. It was her birthday last weekend but she wasn't at school. So we planned a "Kites and Cookies for Kate" birthday surprise party today in our dorm and it was fantastic. We baked cookies and put kites on the wall for friends to sign with love. So this one's for Kate! We love your graphic designing, photographing, crafty-making, cookie baking, all-around-totally-loveable self. For real. I thank the Lord for you in muh life.

Summer Gatherings

If you didn't know already, I am the second youngest of 9 and an aunt to 12 little ones. Today we celebrated my nephew Douglas' 5th birthday. Here's some snapshots from today to show you some of my favorite things about our birthday parties (and my family in general).

1. baby faces

2. little girl braids 

3. splashing around

4. birthday cakes

5. opening gifts 

(I made Douglas a felt finger puppet of himself. He kept walking around with it on his finger, talking as if he were the puppet.)

6. these kids.

few things ever bring me joy like these kids do. i'm going to miss them.